Tuesday, 2 October 2012

The lure of the badboy

Oh…the bad boy. What is it about them? Take even your most intelligent, confident, self-sufficient woman – show them a long haired, tattooed dude with a motorbike and an attitude problem and suddenly we’re all of a quiver.

Ok…so maybe this is not all women. Plenty of girlfriends tell me ”Bad boys? Nah – show me a nice boy to take home to Mother and I’m happy” And I’m sure they’re not lying but I bet you they’re just not admitting to that secret smile when they think of…hell just about anyone riding a bike!

But what IS the appeal here? I sure as hell don’t get it and I’m one of the poor unfortunate souls attracted to them. Is it this absurd thought that we can change them? This ridiculous misguided notion that they will love us enough to change for us? But then where was the attraction in the first place if we want to convert them into a “nice guy”?

Is it the implied danger? That edge, that risk factor. Knowing that we may get burnt but that little voice in the back of our heads whispering “Go on. Go ON! Touch it! It’s not hot…”

Or is it as simple as basic biology? An attraction as old as genetics itself? Women are pre-programmed to procreate with the most masculine of men and these bad-boys show us very testosterone heavy traits? Body hair, deep voices, a general sense of recently having killed an animal?

Who knows – because I sure as hell don’t. I just know a little bit of treat ‘em mean keep ‘em keen does indeed keep me on my toes. But it’s an extremely thin and risky line for a man to walk. Because if you acct like too much of a dick I’m going to want to put you in your place. TOO nice though and there’s always a small chance we may get bored too quickly. (Sorry guys – we never said what we want is straightforward or logical).

Bottom line though Bad guys should not be a long term consideration in my book and trust me – I speak from experience.  There is almost always some weird reason as to WHY they put forward this…edgy, non-emotional persona. There is some emotional baggage that they are hiding from. And it may seem…sexy or romantic even to be the person to “fix him” but really – what are the odds of this happening? You can’t help someone that doesn’t want to help themselves. And again please please PLEASE believe me when I say this. I really do speak from experience and it wasn’t a pretty one.

So limit your bad boys to novels, movies and perhaps occasionally the odd sexy fling. But when looking for love? Your Mother had a point – find a nice boy that you would be happy to bring home to her. Just don’t tell her about that tattoo in the not so obvious place….

 Do you like the bad boys? 

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