Friday, 16 November 2012

He IS just that into you- and deep down you know it!

Owl and Panda are the self-proclaimed Queens of Overthinking. Don't let our well thought out blogposts fool you- when we get ourselves into a tizzy over a one word text from a date, it isn't a pretty sight. Luckily, we rarely tend to overthink at the same time, so when we have girly nights in, we can tell when the other is going overboard with analysations (spell check tells us that this is not a word, so we proclaim it to be one of "our words". Like "ponderments"...)

One of our downfalls is that we don't like to believe that a guy is too into us. We try to play it cool, and not assume that we are amazeballs. Instead we get self conscious and paranoid and this can lead to crazy musings over whether  a guy actually does like us.

Sitting on a long train ride one day, we were chatting about the Blockbuster "He's Just Not That Into You" starring Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston and Bradley Cooper (to name a few). If you haven't seen it, watch it. It's quite a fun and easy watch, prompting pauses and long conversations whilst Owl and Panda poured over and related each issue to our own lives over white wine and cake. Anyway, we won't spoil the plot, but suffice to say, it's all there in the title. How to know when a guy isn't into you. Or when a girl just isn't into a guy.

But sometimes, we need just as much help to see that a guy actually IS into us. We don't want to be big-headed, but guess what? Some guys do actually want to be with us! And there is no problem with admitting to ourselves that sometimes we rock- and the guy thinks so too! So, on our train journey, with a couple of hours to spare, we came up with a list of tell-tell signs, just as a reference. If you're trying to work out whether a guy IS in fact into you, please have a look, and let us know if it has worked for you too. If you have more to add to the list – please please tell us in the comments. Goodness knows we could do with some more clues….

If he likes you:

1. He calls.
You don't have to worry about him contacting you. You've given him your details. He will get in contact.  Panda remembers a time where she met a guy at a club. Her friends and his friends were all talking, and contacts were shared throughout the night, however, the guy Panda was chatting to got a little (ahem) drunk and she didn't give him her number. Two days later, her friend contacted her. Apparently, his friend contacted her friend to give Panda the message that he wanted to apologise for being drunk and would love to have her contact details. He went above and beyond to track Panda down. Certainly, a sign that he was into her.

2. He talks to his friends about you.
Women talk. So do men. Do NOT let them fool you on this! Perhaps they don't talk in the same way as women, but they are guilty of sharing their musings with their closest chums. Don't be fooled, if he likes you, he would've more than mentioned you to his closest friend or roommate. He may even slip up in conversation. Owl learned this when she went to ELB’s house for the first time, and was introduced. She noticed the tone of the "this is 'Owl'" and noted the reaction of recognition from the roommates. Sure enough, they were already familiar with her presence in his life.

3. He makes time.
It doesn't matter how busy he is- he will find the time because he wants to be in your company. Flip it over- when you want to see him, it doesn't matter if you've worked a 12 hour day, and your feet hurt, and your exhausted, and you have promised to take your Gran shopping the following morning- you will get on that 3 hour train to a different city to spend some time with him. We've all done it. And if he likes you, he will make the time to see you too…or even include you in his already made plans.

4. He takes notice of the things you like, and acts upon it.
He's asked all the questions and you've told him the things that you like. Not only has he listened, he has acted. This could be simply knowing that you like a particular chocolate bar and has bought it for you on your next date. But we would go a step further. For instance, Owl met a guy who listened to her like of a particular band. With this knowledge, he found other bands that sounded like this one, and told her about them. He had noticed her likes and was already making connections. You just don’t go that amount of effort for someone you're not into.

5. You just know.We women have been blessed with the ability of intuition. Nevertheless, all too often, we ignore our judgements, or displace them completely, in the fear of seeming presumptuous, or even... needy. But if a guy likes you, it doesn't matter whether you think you are overthinking. If you just relax and look at the evidence in front of you, you just KNOW. You don't have to overthink his every move. Sometimes we like to be modest, and not assume that the guy is totally smitten with is (unless you are a self-assured Panda who couldn't possibly believe someone isn't attracted to her!) But you know when he likes you back. His behaviour and actions show it.

We are not denying that there are some Casanova's out there, some men who make sport of leading girls on. But just trust your intuition, and you can answer the question yourself.

Not that we are not advocating sitting with your girls and having a good old chat about all the possibilities of whether he IS just that into you – over-analysing can sometimes be extremely helpful and fun too ;)

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